Being a stay-at-home mom is not easy at all. Unfortunately, for a lot of moms who would like to take this path, it’s also not an easy lifestyle to maintain.

One mom wanted to become a stay-at-home mom, just as many of her friends have, but her husband had to explain that they were not in a financial position to do that.

A husband wondered if he was wrong for telling his wife she couldn’t be a stay-at-home mom due to finances.

One husband took to Reddit to find out if he was in the wrong after he told his wife she simply couldn’t be a stay-at-home mom because of their financial situation.

The man explained that he and his wife, Elle, had been married for three years and had been together for a total of eight. “Both in our mid-30s and now have a toddler,” he said. “She works in the tech world, I’m in real estate.”

Unfortunately for Elle, things are not going well at her job. “She’s miserable with her job,” her husband explained. “I get it; her boss sucks … For almost two months now she’s emotionally drained every day and on the verge of tears almost every night. I’d want to leave too.”

It seemed that her husband’s job could potentially provide a way out for Elle. “So we came up with a plan,” he said. “While I’ve been in my industry for a while, I just branched off and started my own business within it about a year ago. It’s gone well so far and should have a bright future, but it’s still very early and likely going to experience its fair share of bumps in the road along the way.”

This is where his wife’s skill set comes in. “Elle’s master’s degree is in business development and marketing,” he explained. “What a coincidence — I have a company that needs to be developed and marketed … So I suggest, ‘Why don’t you come grow my company and help me expand it? Not only will it help provide for us financially in the long run, but you will have that freedom that you’ve been yearning for since forever.’ She agrees it’s a perfect fit.”

Elle and her husband have even come up with a plan for Elle to exit her current job. After doing so, she would stay at home with their child until they turned one. Then, she would join her husband’s team.

Elle decided she didn’t quite want things to go that way, though, especially after talking to some friends.

“Well, we found out this weekend that three sets of couples we are mutually friends with locally are transitioning to a single-income home with a [stay-at-home mom] for their new children,” her husband said. 

“She told me tonight after chatting with them that she wants to take an extended leave from working full-time so she can spend important time with our child instead of sending them to daycare.”

This husband feels like he is under an enormous amount of stress now. His income is “commission-based,” but Elle is asking him to take on all of their financial obligations. She is trying to change a household where the income was typically split evenly.

Not every family can handle one parent staying at home.

While many may wish they had the ability to be a stay-at-home parent, it’s not practical for every family. According to Very Well Family, “While there are many great reasons to be a stay-at-home parent, it’s not necessarily right or beneficial (or financially plausible) for everyone. For some families, the drawbacks significantly outweigh any positives.”

Being a stay-at-home parent is becoming more and more of a privilege. 

Many families simply cannot make it work because of their finances. This does not mean that they’re doing something wrong. It just means their life may look a little different than they wish it could.