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Man Shares Why 'Comfortable Silence' Friendships Are the Best Kind

Newsweek 2024/9/28

A man online is calling for recognition of an underrated type of friendship.

A video posted to TikTok by Sebastian (@sebastiandariusch) has gone viral for his description of a type of friendship where anything goes, where both parties are equally as willing to grab a coffee as they are to go grocery shopping together. Since the video was posted, it has received 2.3 million views. Sebastian, 26, spoke to Newsweek about his thoughts on the matter, and about the friend he had in mind while making the video.

"You know what the best kind of friendships are?" he said in the video. "The ones where you're like, 'You just wanna go for a walk?'...'Hey, I need groceries, you wanna come?'...'I wanted to watch this new show, you wanna watch it together?'"

Sebastian in his TikTok video
Sebastian in his TikTok video. The video has gone viral for his description of the best type of friendship—what some in the comments are calling a "comfortable silence" friendship.

Sebastian went on to say he appreciates the type of friends who are willing to just do "whatever thing"—who make even the most mundane things fun and comfortable.

He told Newsweek that the idea to share the video occurred to him spontaneously as he was thinking of his friend.

"I [had] one very specific friend in mind when I posted that video," he said. "We've known each other for a while now, but the friendship has developed beautifully over the years. With me traveling, I am not home much, but we see each other as often as possible."

Sebastian said that when him and his friend do get together, they do the very things he mentioned in his video: "We do daily things together, just going for a walk, getting groceries, helping each other if our parents need anything," he said. "As we both appreciate the time we spend together, it's not mainly about the activities, it's about us being with each other."

'Comfortable silence' friendships

Viewers in the comments resonated with Sebastian's description of true friendship.

"The comfortable silence friendships," @killingtimehere0 wrote, naming the phenomenon.

"This!" @dxstiny.y wrote. "Friendships where you don't need an actual motive, they're just happy to be in your company doing anything."

Sebastian said that he ponders relationships often in his own time—and when he does, he tries to hold platonic and romantic relationships in equal measure.

"With romantic love being all over the place, I believe platonic love and love between friends is something which is not talked about enough," he said. "Relationships, [whether] friendship or romantic is something I try to be very aware of...If we want love and someone to love us, at some point we have to surrender ourselves the experience a pure relationship."

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