"I would not trade my weird wedding with anything fancier or more traditional!"
Nowadays, it seems like fewer couples are having conventional weddings and instead doing something that makes the most sense to them — even if it might make their guests scratch their heads in confusion. I recently asked the BuzzFeed Community to share what they did that made their wedding more unconventional, why they did it, and whether they have any regrets. Here is what people shared:
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
1. "My mother was overbearing and argumentative during my wedding planning. My husband and I are both super laid back and got sick of dealing with it, so we eloped and didn't tell anyone. We had a small family-only ceremony and dinner a week later on the originally planned date. No one knew we'd already gotten married."
2. "My husband and I had a fairly small wedding (40 guests) on the summit of Jay Peak in Vermont. We took the tram up to the summit and said our vows on April 8 under the total solar eclipse. It was an absolutely incredible experience. Our ceremony was six minutes long, timed so that we exchanged rings right as totality hit. During the quick ceremony, the sky got darker and darker until we were surrounded by deep twilight. There was no aisle for the ceremony. We just walked to the front, finished our beers, and started. We are not a traditional couple."
"There was no proposal; it was just a discussion about whether this was right for us. Our invitations were a National Park postcard set we got for $20 off the National Park website. We sent our guests the park we thought they would love the most or one we had visited! Our rings were a custom set from an artist in California who created a topographical map of the mountain peak where we got married on our rings.
I wore a black tulle ballgown with silver stars and Doc Martens (there was snow on the ground). We did a skiing photo shoot with our photographer the day before because we weren't allowed to ski down after our ceremony, which was our original plan. So we did a fun photoshoot skiing around and also included our pet rabbit. Instead of a private suite, we got a huge slope-side party house with a hot tub to share with ten friends. Our photographer didn't stay for the reception. We had 20 disposable cameras out for our friends to use and then had the photos printed as thank-yous to all our guests. My parents HATED everything. They wanted tradition. My husband didn't ask 'permission,' I didn't have an engagement ring, I didn't do a big dress shopping day, my guest list was too small, etc."
—Bryn, Boston
3. "We had been engaged for eight months and were planning our engagement party at this cool restaurant loft. About two months beforehand, we decided to have a surprise wedding ceremony during the party since we didn’t want to wait any longer. Only our parents knew, which was great because it alleviated the pressure we would have felt from everyone else. An hour into the party, my dad made a short speech and directed everyone’s attention to my mom, now dressed in her mayoral robes (yep, she’s the mayor of our town), walking in with my fiancé. Then my dad ran to the back where I was waiting with my bouquet, and we walked down the makeshift aisle to a string version of a Green Day song."
"I handed my very surprised and crying sister my bouquet and announced to the room, 'Surprise, it’s actually the wedding!' and my mom proceeded to marry us. Everyone was SHOOK. Even though some people were initially upset they didn’t know, we ended up all having an amazing and unforgettable night. It’s been a year and a half, and I’m still so happy we made this decision. My biggest regret, though, was that since people didn’t know it was the wedding, some friends and family weren’t able to fly in to attend. I love my husband, and the unconventional way we decided to start our marriage. Highly recommend!"
—Kellen, NJ
4. "My husband and I eloped while on vacation in New Orleans. I saw a cute figurine of a skeleton bride and groom in a tourist shop on Bourbon Street and told him I was buying it in case we ever got married. It would be a cute cake topper. He said, 'Well, maybe we will get married while we are here.' The next day, we sobered up and decided to get married! So our families overnighted our documents, and we were married by the end of the week at a beautiful bed and breakfast just outside of town."
—Samiee
5. "44 years ago, my husband and I married in Alcazar Garden, Balboa Park, San Diego. Permit was $35. Flowers were plentiful throughout the garden. We had a guitar player for music, who later became a local celebrity. The bell tower rang at noon, marking the beginning of our ceremony. A judge officiated, costing $50. It was intimate, with about 50 friends and family. For the reception, we walked over to a historical venue in the park for a cocktail party. It was simple and beautiful. The cost of a wedding has nothing to do with the success of a marriage."
6. "My husband and I had just moved into a new home around Halloween, so we hosted a haunted housewarming party with friends to celebrate. The house was decked out for the holiday, and everyone showed up in costume. Halfway through the party, we announced we were getting married right then and there with them as witnesses. We exchanged vows, dressed as Jack and Wendy Torrance from 'The Shining', and celebrated with friends for the rest of the night. It’s one of my favorite memories with my husband."
—N, Washington
7. "We had an unconventional wedding that really resembled my husband's and my spirit. For starters, it was a two-part wedding, the first one was in France at our place right after the civil rite. It was a 'dress as you like to' event, with what the French call an 'apéro dinatoire' food and drinks option. It was so much fun! The second part took place in the Italian countryside, where a friend of mine lent us his place, and we had three days of festivities with bonfires, barbecues, pizza, wine, and lots of laughter; we could refresh ourselves in a stream, go for long walks into the woods or the villages nearby! It was amazing. I would not trade my weird wedding with anything fancier or more traditional."
—Chiara, France/Italy
8. "My wife and I were on a business trip to Vegas and took the opportunity to get married. My family was pissed that they didn’t get to attend, but my wife and I are both the kind of people that don’t enjoy being a spectacle. Eight years later, we have zero regrets."
9. "We're having the ceremony at the town hall and then taking a rented sightseeing tram to have lunch. I'm a big public transport nerd, so renting a tram has been a dream of mine for a long time, and I can't wait for it."
10. "My wife and I got married on Halloween. We began by burning sage to cleanse the altar. My best friend officiated. We had a black wedding cake and served North Carolina pulled pork BBQ. It was spooky and weird, just like us. For most of our guests, it was the first lesbian wedding they had ever been to, so we wanted to make sure it was memorable."
11. "Finally after six years engaged, my husband and I eloped with just our two daughters (and I was pregnant with our son), the photographer — who is my best friend — and the officiant. We went to a place that had special meaning to our family. Our teen was my husband's witness, and my best friend was mine. I wore a long, light blue, chiffon dress. Our oldest wore grey and stood next to her Dad, who wore all black with a blue and grey floral tie. Our toddler stood by me, wearing a navy dress and beige peacoat. My bouquet was handmade by a local florist, another friend! It was a gorgeous bundle of white and beige flowers, blue thistles, and baby's breath with green filler tied with lace and pretty twine."
"Our daughters had simple baby's breath bouquets. The ceremony took about 20 minutes. Photos were about an hour. It was in early December, and it started to rain/snow. It was so cold but made for lovely, sparkling pictures. My mom picked up the girls, and then we went to Denny's for brunch as husband and wife! I got my dress, boots, and toddler's dress on Poshmark. My teen wore an old dress of mine. The venue was a conservation area, so it was free of charge. Flowers and photography were discounted (I LOVE my friends). The wedding cost less than $1,200, and more than half was on our rings."
—Jen, Canada
12. "We eloped and did a small ceremony in the tiny backyard of our apartment on the ground floor. I hung up a white sheet for better photos. I bought a simple pink and white floral dress. Hubs borrowed a suit from a friend. I got some pretty fake flowers for our dogs to wear. I had the officiant and three friends. It was definitely my favorite day. Simple, fun, affordable, and stress-free."
13. "We got married about seven years ago on a MAJOR budget, so we had to get creative with pretty much everything. But ultimately, the result was a really authentic, community-centered celebration. We did away with any traditions that we felt didn't serve us. That included no wedding cake (we went for ice-cream macarons instead, provided at a discount by a friend who ran her own business) and no tables, chairs, or assigned seats."
"We got married in the back garden of a family home with picnic blankets and pillows sewed by my grandmother, mother, and a gang of their friends. We carried carpets and couches out of the house to set up on the lawn, and we provided wine and beer but invited guests to bring any other drinks they liked. We also have a lot of musician friends, and we had an open mic for reception entertainment, which was a hit.
My father-in-law brought out his guitar and had the whole reception singing 'Piano Man' at one point, which was a highlight. My grandmother sewed my wedding dress, and I hand-dyed it to create a blue ombre effect to match my hair. The wedding party all wore their own clothes; our only requirement was that they wear some kind of blue. The result was a beautiful mismatch of jumpsuits, dresses, and suits—one of my bridesmaids even wore a blue sari."
—Maya, South Africa
14. "We got married in the woods on top of a mountain in Montana, outside a small town of 1000 people. The setting was enchanting, and the sunset photos were stunning."
15. "My husband loves weddings, but I am petrified of being the center of attention, and never had dreams of a big wedding. We compromised with a micro wedding in Tuscany with just our parents/siblings (and my parents managed to have my best friend of 25 years fly in as the best surprise) and a less formal reception with friends and extended family about six months later. We found all of our vendors on Instagram, which were spectacular."
"We spent several days in Italy with our families beforehand, seeing sights and finalizing details before a Thursday ceremony at the villa we had booked for the week. (Pro tip: mid-week wedding = less expensive vendor costs!) It was such an intimate and beautiful day, and we got to spend it with those closest to us instead of obligatory small talk with 100+ guests. Everyone flew home on Saturday or Sunday, and we flew to Paris for our honeymoon. Our 8-bedroom villa for the week, daily meals, rental cars, ceremony vendors, and airfare for 12 (everyone paid for their own flights) cost around $25,000. It was worth every cent, in our opinion!"
—Kathleen, Indiana