Warsan Shire's poignant poem "For Women Who Are Difficult to Love" lyrically celebrates feminine individuality and authenticity. It’s an ode to that "terrifying, strange, and beautiful woman who's a horse running alone, and he tries to tame you." It honours the woman who's "something not everyone knows how to love."

If you are a woman who's ever tried to shrink yourself to fit into a man’s (or the world’s) idea of who you should be, then this poem is for you. If, like the late Prof Wangari Maathai, you have ever been told you are too much of anything, then this poem is for you.

For those unfamiliar with Prof Maathai’s brand of “unlovability,” during her divorce, the Nobel laureate’s ex-husband claimed she was “too educated, too strong, too successful, too stubborn, and too hard to control”.

Ms Shire’s poem symbolises women's unshackling from the demands and expectations of a deeply patriarchal society. There's nothing more intimidating to patriarchy than a woman who is free, confident, outspoken, and self-assured.

A male acquaintance once told me that outspoken women needed to be domesticated—relegated to traditional roles of wife, mother, and homemaker. I retorted that these women were not wild animals.

In retrospect, there's nothing wrong with being a wild animal in response to patriarchy. Stella Nyanzi's brand of feminism is particularly wild and free. Ms Nyanzi is a Ugandan human rights advocate, poet, medical anthropologist, feminist, and queer rights advocate who has stripped to get her points across.

Defying patriarchy

Women staying in their stereotypical roles benefit the power structures of a patriarchal society. I celebrate all the women who defy this.

In an episode of the Women Lift Health Global Conference Podcast Series titled "Confronting Fears That Silence Women, Speaking Up & Standing Out," two of the boldest media personalities I’ve ever encountered, Lizz Ntonjira and Rachel Ombaka, speak about the fear that holds women back. It's a fear that, like the one described by Toni Morrison in Jazz about the character Alice, is “Seeded in childhood, watered every day since fear had sprouted through her veins all her life”.

Ms Ombaka and Ms Ntonjira discussed how girls are conditioned to seek approval, conform, and avoid criticism from childhood. This fear of criticism follows them into boardrooms and sabotages them. They encouraged women to speak up, be bold, and unapologetic about who they are and their achievements.

As for me, I don't want to be a “good African woman”. I'm happy with being “something not everyone knows how to love.” I celebrate women from this tribe. Cheers to every woman who’s “difficult to love.”

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Mexico's election of a female president

This article would be incomplete without celebrating Mexico's first female president Claudia Sheinbaum Pardo. Having read about her background and litany of achievements, I daresay that this woman of many firsts was also “difficult to love”.