I looked at the group of people sitting around me at orientation, eagerly taking in all the new faces. When my eyes met those of a boy sitting across from me, I smiled and thought to myself, “How sweet, he came all this way to support his sister.”

Then suddenly it hit me. He was not here to cheer on his sister, but was in fact, my future classmate.

This was one of many experiences from my first few weeks of college which reminded me that I now attend a co-ed institution.

After spending four years at an all-girls high school, this reality took some time to settle in.

These experiences were jarring for me at first, and the novelty of UCLA’s co-ed environment intensified upon receiving an array of reactions when my peers heard I had graduated from an all-girls high school.

Some people reacted with abject horror. You would think I just confessed to a crime.

Others simply said, “I’m so sorry” or “I could never.”

Many were curious about the dynamics around bullying, gossip or drama. Most shocking to me, they were even curious about my romantic life.

These reactions, while mostly amusing to me, were also surprising. I did not understand why people automatically assumed I disliked my time at an all-girls high school.

In reality, it was one of the most meaningful, formative and supportive environments I had ever immersed myself in.

As I wrap up my first year of college, the value of my all-girls education has become especially clear.

Specifically, my high school experience created a strong foundation for my academic confidence.

The all-girls environment created an atmosphere that allowed me to grow close with my classmates. But perhaps more importantly, it also provided a playing field that eliminated the fight to be seen as an intellectual equal in the eyes of men.

I did not have to prove that I belonged in scholarly spaces. It was simply understood that I and all my fellow peers did, regardless of our identities.

This confidence not only fostered success in school, but it also now makes me feel like I can thrive in academic settings and the professional world beyond.

What I learned in an all-girls school about trusting myself extends beyond strictly the academic realm.

It is no secret that being a teenage girl is hard.

Sometimes it feels like no matter what you do or who you are, you will never please everyone. Pressure about everything from physical appearance to academics is constant.

Thus, for me, it was so important to be surrounded by other teenage girls who empowered me. Because of the common identities we all shared, there was no need to explain how I felt or qualify my experiences.

On bad days, I knew no matter what that I could find comfort in my peers, regardless of how close we were. Conversely, on good days, I knew I would always have people to celebrate with.

As I sing my all-girls education’s praises, one might expect me to say I prospered due to the lack of boy drama or incessant pressure to meet beauty standards.

These stigmas are shallow and wrong. Honestly, I find them slightly hurtful.

Reducing the all-girls experience to negative stereotypes saddens me because it means people simply choose to look past all the positive experiences I had; I had found a true community in which I could navigate girlhood, more specifically teenage girlhood, alongside my peers.

In a society that pits women against each other, I found my high school to be a space where I could find solace from competition, where female friendship and collaboration were not only encouraged but celebrated.

However, while I reflect fondly on my time in all-girls education, its heteronormative nature could be harmful to my peers, especially my gender non-conforming ones. Countless times, I watched my friends be constantly invalidated in their identity in a community that was supposed to be supportive.

At school assemblies, our school would be referred to as a “sisterhood” and during classes, teachers would use the general term “girls.” These are just a few examples of the inescapable usage of gendered language that was present.

Beyond just language, my gender non-conforming peers had to deal with constant questions from ill-informed fellow students, which they often felt compelled to answer despite it being an uncomfortable situation. Overall, my peers faced strong and persistent external pressure to give in to gender norms that actively contradicted how they identified.

While this is the historical nature of all-girls schools, it is critical that single gender schools shift to be inclusive of their gender non-conforming students. The inclusion of gender non-conforming students in all-girls school environments does not hinder the impacts of the environment but rather strengthens them.

While the experiences of gender non-conforming people and women are vastly different, they do share a common ground in that both communities face intense invalidation due to their gender identity.

This is the core reason why gender non-conforming students deserve just as much of a place as any other student in my school’s community; a community built to protect and encourage the confidence of people who feel less than because of their gender identity and gender discrimination.

At my school, I had the opportunity to have these conversations with my gender non-conforming peers, as well as participate in my school’s Queer Student Alliance. Through these conversations and experiences, I learned that by fostering a space of community where nuance is welcome and considered, rather than where a binary standard is enforced, we are able to create stronger, more inclusive communities that gain power because of their diversity.

This lesson was among many I learned at my all-girls school that I believe have been necessary to forming my worldview, and who I am today.

Beyond these lessons, the emphasis on community that I experienced shaped me into the outgoing, welcoming person I am today. I’ve carried what I learned about myself in this rare and valuable environment out into the world and into my friendships in college.

With my first year at UCLA coming to a close, I am certainly grateful for many aspects of the co-ed academic experience. For one, I actually enjoy having friends who are boys more than I thought I would.

Nevertheless, I will always sincerely appreciate my experience at an all-girls school, and who it made me, regardless of people’s shocked and highly entertaining reactions when I tell them about it.