All my childhood memories center around my mum abusing me. A Lifetime of Abuse One of my strongest childhood memories is of my mum trying to strangle me. When I was around four years old, and reading in bed past my bedtime, my mum attacked me in a very controlled way. The aftermath left me feeling completely dead inside. I’m now in my 20s and have endured physical, psychological, and sexual abuse from my family. A Different Kind of Childhood My dad disappeared when I was four, and my memories with my mum mostly involve abuse. I was non-verbal as a young child and had tantrums that led to my mum’s anger. I lacked self-awareness and struggled with behavioral issues at school. Molding Me to Fit My mum seemed determined to mold me to fit her expectations, making me feel like I was never good enough. The abuse I endured made me dissociate from reality to cope. Living with my mum and gran only led to more physical abuse for behaviors they didn’t like. Covert Sexual Abuse Inappropriate boundaries led to covert sexual abuse, leaving traumatic memories. My devices were controlled, clothing regulated, and my gran made me feel like I didn't belong. Breaking Free Working abroad made me realize I needed to leave for good. I went through a challenging process to seek help and eventually found refuge. The Road to Recovery Leaving home was liberating, but the trauma caught up with me. Complex mental health issues and a sense of isolation have been my companions. Learning to Live Again Struggling to find stable ground, I am on a journey to heal and find peace. Despite the challenges, I am determined to learn how to live again, away from the abuse of my past.