“I didn’t even notice it at first.” – a statement I’ve heard quite often, and to be honest, rolled my eyes every time someone said that to me. When I bring up my skin to those I’ve built relationships with, that has been the common response. For me, it’s the first thing I see when I wake up, when I look in the mirror, or when I pick out clothes to wear. It has become a big part of who I am because I can’t help but to notice it. So when friends, family, colleagues, or those I’ve dated say it wasn’t very noticeable, all I can think is “How is that possible?!” Psoriasis has definitely made an impact on the relationships in my life.
My family tried to find the best treatment to manage symptoms and find any relief for me growing up. My parents, grandparents, and loved ones would always tell me how beautiful I am, but I always felt like it was what they were supposed to say. It was hard for me to believe it. The frequent doctor visits, and psoriasis being a topic of conversation quite often, made it a huge part of my identity. So of course, it’s hard to understand how it’s not the first thing someone notices when they meet me.
My friends felt like I always would overthink or be hard on myself when it came to my skin. I refused to wear certain clothes or be comfortable in bathing suits at swim parties because I didn’t want people staring at me. I remember a spring break trip to Miami and we ran into others that went to the same college on the beach. I quickly put on my cover-up to avoid being in my head too much about what they may think or say. As long as we were just around strangers, I was OK, but not so much with people that we knew outside of our immediate friend group.
Dating is where I realized how much people really didn’t care or think about it like I did. Guys were always shocked to find out the insecurity psoriasis was for me. They found me to be attractive, and some even hated when I would go through my phases of wearing makeup to cover it up. They were understanding of the fact that it’s something I live with but always encouraged me to be more confident.
Having conversations about psoriasis with loved ones made me realize that most of the time, it’s only been the focal point of conversations if I make it so. I spent the majority of my life looking for relief and hiding it, causing me to not hear the genuine compliments or understand that others don’t really think about it. I encourage you to sit down with those you’re close with to get their perspective of their experience with you and psoriasis.