The term ‘non-binary’ is becoming more and more prevalent — but unfortunately, many of us still don't fully understand exactly what it means. In the simplest terms, non-binary people exist outside of the traditional gender binary. Often, they don't identify with the gender they were assigned at birth, or with the labels ‘male’ or ‘female’.

Although more and more people are openly identifying as non-binary, anything outside of the typical gender binary is still often misunderstood in the UK. A 2024 survey, for instance, found, transgender, non-binary, and gender diverse still face widespread discrimination and they are, as a result, more likely to experience mental health problems.

For people who don't identify as non-binary, the term may bring up some confusion. You may wonder which pronouns and what language is appropriate to use. We spoke to Jillian Amodio, a licensed therapist and founder of Moms for Mental Health, and Cecilia Righini,
founder and creative director of Studio Lutalica, to bring you a guide to the term ‘non-binary’, so you can always use gender-neutral language that is respectful and considerate for people across the gender spectrum.

Table of contents

1. Understanding gender identity
2. Non-binary meaning
3. Different types of non-binary genders
4. The difference between non-binary and transgender
5. What are the typical non-binary pronouns
6. Using gender-neutral language
7. Who are some non-binary celebrities?

Understanding gender identity

Many of us were raised to think of gender in terms of a binary. We were taught that there were two genders and two genders only: male and female. However, gender is a little more complicated than that. For one thing, biological sex and gender identity can sometimes be different.

“One common misconception is that gender identity is synonymous with biological sex,” says Righini. “While biological sex refers to physical attributes, gender identity is about how individuals perceive themselves and what they call themselves.”

Adds Amodio, “Gender identity is a personal sense and understanding of one's own identity. Gender identity most often matches with sex assigned at birth, but that is not always the case.”

When it comes to identity, gender can sometimes be fluid.

“A misconception is that gender is binary, meaning only male or female,” says Righini. “In reality, gender is a spectrum, and people can identify as male, female, both, neither (that would be the case for myself), or somewhere in between."

She adds that gender identity isn't merely a “choice” or a “phase,” but something that is a "deeply ingrained aspect of who someone is.”

Amodio also notes that gender identity shouldn't be confused with sexual orientation.

“A lot of people confuse gender and sexuality,” she says. “Gender identity and sexual orientation are separate aspects of each individual. Gender is who you are and how you feel — boy, girl, neither, both, and so on. Sexuality is more about who someone is attracted to.”

Non-binary meaning

So, what exactly does the term non-binary mean? As Righini explains, it may not always mean exactly the same thing — rather, it's a wide umbrella term used to describe “gender identities that do not fit within the traditional understanding of male or female.”

In other words, there is no one non-binary gender identity. “Non-binary people may identify as having a gender that blends elements of both, neither, or a different gender altogether,” she says. “It is important to remember that non-binary identities are diverse and can vary significantly from person to person."

Amodio agrees, noting, “This is a personal topic and each individual might have their own understanding and meaning behind the use of the word non-binary. It is important to treat each person's experience as their own and not to make assumptions.”

As such, many people who self-describe as non-binary may express gender in non-traditional ways. “Non-binary people might express their gender in ways that are traditionally associated with both males and females, or in ways that are unique to their personal identity,” Righini says.

Different types of non-binary genders

Because the term ‘non-binary’ describes people whose experience of gender diverges from the typical binary, there are many different “types” of non-binary genders. Everyone's experience is unique, so there are, in theory, an infinite number of specific “types.”

"Non-binary is not just one identity but a category that encompasses many different ways of experiencing and expressing gender, and some people prefer using the term 'gender non-conforming' to avoid reinforcing the concept of binary identities in the first place,” Righini says.

Amodio notes that ‘gender non-conforming’ is another useful term when discussing non-binary identities. “It refers to gendered behaviours,” she says. “For instance, a cisgender man who prefers to wear skirts and dresses is gender non-conforming, but they might still consider their gender identity to be male.”

You may also come across the term ‘gender queer’. “This is a person who identifies as both genders, neither gender or somewhere along the gender continuum,” she says.

The difference between non-binary and transgender

Many people confuse the term “non-binary” with the term transgender, assuming that the two terms are interchangeable. However, while trans people may identify as non-binary and vice versa, the two terms aren't always simultaneously applicable.

“These terms can overlap,” says Amodio. “Transgender typically refers to a person whose gender identity does not match the sex assigned at birth. Sometimes people feel as though their gender does not neatly fit into more traditional labels such as male, or female. This is often referred to as being non-binary. Non-binary identities can include both male and female, or anywhere along or outside of the gender continuum.”

Adds Righini, “'Transgender' is a broad term that refers to anyone whose gender identity differs from the sex they were assigned at birth. This includes non-binary individuals but also encompasses those who identify strictly as male or female.”

It's important to note the potential differences between the two terms. Says Righini, “Recognising this distinction helps in understanding that non-binary people can also be transgender, but not all transgender people are non-binary. This clarity promotes better support and allyship for the diverse identities within the LGBTQ+ community.”

What are the typical non-binary pronouns?

Many people who identify as non-binary prefer to use ‘they/them’ pronouns. “Use ‘they/them’ pronouns when you are unsure of someone’s pronouns or when referring to a non-binary individual,” recommends Righini.

Using gender-neutral language

Beyond using inclusive pronouns, there are other ways we can modify our language to respect all gender identities across the gender spectrum.

• Avoid gendered terms such as "ladies and gentlemen" or "boys and girls" and use alternatives like “everyone,” "colleagues," "attendees," "students," and so on.
• Use inclusive titles like Mx. instead of Mr. or Ms. when addressing non-binary individuals.
• Reframe job titles and other roles in a gender-neutral way, such as "chairperson" instead of “chairman.”
• Share your own pronouns, says Amodio. “Asking, sharing, and honouring pronouns can be an excellent way of using and normalising inclusive and non-binary language.”
• Practice regularly to become more comfortable and consistent in using gender-neutral language.

Who are some non-binary celebrities?

There are numerous celebrities who have spoken up about their own non-binary identities.

Emma Corrin, star of The Crown, uses they/them pronouns. “In my mind, gender just isn't something that feels fixed, and I don't know if it ever will be; there might always be some fluidity there for me,” they said to Vogue US in 2022. "I feel much more seen when I'm referred to as 'they,' but my closest friends, they will call me ‘she.’ And I don't mind because I know they know me."

In 2021, singer Demi Lovato announced on Twitter, "Over the past year and a half, I've been doing some healing and self-reflective work, and through this work I've had the revelation that I identify as non-binary. With that said, I will be changing my pronouns to 'they/ them'". The following year, she reverted back to using she/her pronouns, saying, “Recently, I've been feeling more feminine, and so I've adopted she/her again. But I think what's important is, like, nobody's perfect. Everyone messes up pronouns at some point, and especially when people are learning, it's just all about respect.”

Sara Ramirez, star of And Just Like That, has also spoken out about their non-binary identity, explaining that they were excited to raise awareness through their character of Che Diaz on the show. “Just acknowledging the existence of non-binary people without having to represent every single non-binary person is impactful, and it can spark really important conversations," they told GLAMOUR in 2023.