Still on fathers as moulders of destiny

‘Society is better with fathers who rise to responsibilities’

The 2024 edition of Fathers’ Day may have come and gone, but there were lessons to be learnt. SUNNY IDACHABA recalls some of those lessons.

Not too long ago, precisely on June 16, the whole world celebrated the 2024 edition of Fathers Day as an honour to the male gender over their disposition to their God-given positions in preserving the family line.

This global recognition, no doubt, has its root in the Holy Book when God created man and told him to take charge of the garden just before a woman was created off him.

Therefore, the place of a man in the life of any child or family in general cannot be contested or that position be replaced by anyone; and that also explains why the father-figure in the life of any child is very important. To that extent, it may be correct to state that everyday is metaphorically ‘Fathers’ Day.’

Presidential salute to fathers

President Bola Ahmed Tinubu while sending a message through his special adviser on media and publicity, Ajuri Ngelare, on that day congratulated all fathers whom he said have in no small measures contributed to shaping the destiny of the nation by their sacrifice, forbearance, provision, protection, presence and guidance of the young ones to noble and true path.

The president, who went into history to trace the origin of the celebration, stated that it was rooted in the Middle Ages where an event was held in 1908 to celebrate the 362 men who died during an explosion at a coal mining site. Since then, he said, the whole world decided to set aside that day to celebrate the male gender who laid down their lives working till death in order to sustain their family.

While re-affirming that society is better with fathers who rise to the great demand of responsibility, the president urged the male gender to continue guiding children through the vagaries of existence in order to prepare them for the future by bequeathing to them pristine values that money cannot buy.

NASS’ commitment to programmes on fatherly values

President Tinubu was not the only one who shared the joy of the day with fathers. In the National Assembly, the deputy speaker, House of Representatives, Benjamin Kalu, equally joined thousands to felicitate with men on the occasion of the 2024 Fathers’ Day.

In a congratulatory message through his special assistant on press affairs, Udora Orizu, Kalu said the day “is a special one and an occasion to recognise generally the fatherly roles of men who have exhibited love, diligence and unwavering support in nurturing their children.”

“Fathers play critical roles in leaving a mark through their actions and inactions; hence, deserve praise for their indispensable role in shaping families and society,” he said.

In particular, Kalu commended security operatives like soldiers, policemen and others who leave their families and loved ones behind only to be deployed to various security posts outside their domains in order to fight the nation’s enemies.

“Fathers’ Day is a special occasion that brings families together to honour and celebrate the incredible men who have played a significant role in our lives. Whether they are fathers, grand-fathers, step-dads, father-figures, mentors, role- models or protectors, this day is dedicated to recognising their love, support and guidance.

“The parliament is committed to ensuring reforms and interventions that will continue to bring about more economic opportunities so that fathers can meet up their responsibilities, leading families that build communities and the nation.

“To all fathers, I celebrate you today. May you continue to stand firm as strong pillars of society and continually be strengthened in this sacred role.”

Oye counsels fathers

At The Transforming Church headquarters in Gwarinpa, Abuja, fathers who are symbolically known as ‘pillars’ marked the day in style beginning from Friday, June 14 all through Saturday until 16th. On the d-day, the lead pastor, Sam Oye, during the admonition identified fathers as builders and sustainers of family values.

He said, “If a family is disunited, it is because the man in the house failed to square up his duties as a father. The reason many children are wayward outside homes is because the father-figure role a pillar is meant to play is absent. When the child expects to see the influence of a father in his life, but only sees the mother, the child grows to imagine that all that matters to him is his mother; in that case, he grows (if he is a boy) into believing that as a man, whatever he does doesn’t matter.

“He lives a selfish, egocentric and ungodly life; and if the child is a girl, she would not see the importance of any responsible man in her life probably because she never saw anyone play that role in the life of her mother. She takes corrections from wrong places and indulges in revelries without remorse only to discover it when it is too late, all because the father-figure was not available when he was needed most. As fathers, God will hold us responsible for the seeds we sow into the life of the children God brings into the world through us.”

Family coach’s admonition

According to Komolafe Abiodun, a father and family coach, fathers are the heads and role models for their families.

“Even in psychological explanations, it is the father figures who set the moral tones of households. Whenever irritants attempt to test the loyalty of the household, it is the father who risks everything with truly solidified violations to display manly attributes.

“Fathers are no little men. Of course, they are too big to be small. They have muscles in their places with which they not only perform feats of impressiveness but also create new, bigger and stronger foundations for their children. So, Fathers’ Day is a day to celebrate the ideal father. It is a day to also say that those who are irresponsible most probably came from dysfunctional families where they never had good role models and that they’re only transferring their wounds to the people they got married to or the children they gave birth to.

“For their efforts, men need to be encouraged, especially at a time like this when the majority of our men are on the verge of social and mental collapse. In a country where hunger and deprivation are already busting the people’s asses, where the prevailing inflation rate is stifling and asphyxiating and where many Nigerians are dead before their death; this is not the time to be excoriating or burlesquing fathers.”

At difficult times like this, Komolafe advised that, “It’s high time well-meaning individuals, private organisations, corporate agencies and religious organisations started programmes aimed at transforming boys into men and young men into husbands, with all the accompanying values and virtues, if we do not want to have beasts and abusive husbands in the future.

“In a world that derives its oxygen from narcotics and human sacrifices and where brothers are afraid of becoming fathers for obvious reasons, the boy child needs something that will actually lead young men to grow into manhood.”

Wrong example of fatherhood

While fathers generally are responsible for preserving family lines, examples abound of negative trends associated with some father figures. While some are involved in raping their own daughters for ritual purposes, others have outrightly murdered their children in unbelievable circumstances. For instance, sometime ago in Edo state, a father identified as Emmanuel Ovwarueso allegedly beheaded his daughter for money ritual at his residence in Uteh, Upper Mission, Benin City.

According to information from Edo State Security Network (ESSN) which arrested him, he was found with the head of the deceased in a polythene bag. Before he carried out the dastardly act, he allegedly tied his wife to a stake in their living room and carried out the killing in her presence.

Recounting the sad moment in tears, the wife said, “His attitude changed recently as he kept saying I should not look at him like a poor man anymore. Even at his place of work, he was buying drinks for everyone as if he was celebrating. Even his co-workers were surprised at his new spending style. He even told them that his money is very near. We never knew he had plans to use our daughter for ritual.”

While giving graphic details of how the man was arrested, a member of the security network who spoke with journalists on the condition of anonymity said, “We saw him that Thursday night with a bag, walking so fast like he was rushing to catch a flight. We stopped him, but he resisted. We asked what was inside the bag, he said it was his food. So, we searched the bag and found a human head inside it.

“We interrogated him and from the way he was talking, it was obvious he was hiding something. So, we took him to his house and we met his wife tied down. We untied her and asked who tied her, she said it was her husband.

“She told us that her husband tied her down with a rope before killing their daughter. The suspects then took us to the place where he buried the little girl’s body in a shallow grave and the body of the girl was exhumed immediately,” he said.

Conclusion

Fathers’ Day is meant to recall and recognise the endless efforts, initiatives and contributions of all the fathers around us. It is a mark of the kinship, affection, guidance and patience between fathers on the one hand and their families on the other.

In summing it all, an Islamic cleric, Ustaz Dauda Momoh, said, “While Fathers’ Day is just one day that not many care about because we appear to be highly religious people, may the Almighty Allah bless the works of hardworking fathers that do not despise on the premise of race, ethnicity; fathers that are not faith bigots, who won’t steal what does not belong to them.

“Fathers whose creed is ‘live and let’s live’; fathers who still find time to tell their kids tales of when Nigeria partially worked; fathers that remain fathers to their children, they preach, teach and live peacefully, they daily seek solutions and are open to learning wherever they find themselves, they are fathers of little villages, hamlets; they are fathers in their masjids, churches and shrines passing age long ethics and life lessons on brotherhood. They are the fathers society needs.”