In the Exodus story, the Lord instructs Moses to lift his arms as his people enter battle. As long as Moses raises his arms, the Israelites win. But when his arms get tired and fall, they start to lose. So two of Moses’ closest advisors, Aaron and Hur, sit him down so he can rest while they hold up his arms.

I was a pastor for 20 years, so I know the exhaustion and isolation that ironically comes from a job working with people. But I also know what it was like to have an Aaron and Hur, someone to come alongside me during those more challenging times and metaphorically hold up the arms of my soul.

At Barna, we’ve just released the latest report in our Resilient Pastor series, and sadly, most pastors are struggling mentally, emotionally and relationally. Pastors have responded to a sacred calling to help shepherd others, and the best thing a pastor can do for their congregation, their families, and themselves is to tend to their souls; but they can’t do it by themselves.

So what is happening? The Resilient Pastor highlights that pastoral burnout is still a major crisis in the church. As of March 2022, 42% of pastors have considered leaving the ministry. Our latest data also shows that mental health is one of the most significant drivers of burnout. Here are some sobering statistics:

• 43% of pastors report average, below-average or poor mental and emotional health.
• 32% of pastors frequently feel emotionally or mentally exhausted.
• 51% have suffered from depression sometime during their ministry.

But the church needs to address a number behind these numbers: Nearly two-thirds of pastors (63%) say they aren’t seeing a counselor, therapist, life coach, mentor or spiritual advisor. Why are so few getting the help they need when the weight of the job becomes too heavy?

It’s hard for a pastor to open up to those they lead. People look to them for prayer, guidance and spiritual direction. Many pastors I’ve worked with confess they’re afraid to be vulnerable and honest about their insecurities, brokenness or sin because they worry it could cost them their job.

There’s also still a strong stigma attached to counseling or therapy. Some still see professional help as a sign of weakness, and many pastors are experiencing the pressure-cooker of looking like they “have it all together”—saying they need professional help can feel like confessing they don’t have what it takes to do their job.

Then there’s the reality of what the past three years of division and distance have wrought between pastors and the people they care about. Many have been burned by the rejection of church members walking into their office to announce they’re leaving, or worse, ghosting them and going to another church. So then, many pastors have become guarded and reluctant to get close to others in their congregations.

So what can you do if you’re a pastor who feels isolated and emotionally or mentally exhausted? From my own experience working in ministry and the research we’re doing at Barna, I want to share four practices with you:

1. Find Your Aaron and Hur.

Sometimes you need to talk to someone who gets it. That’s why this is the easiest step to take, because almost all pastors share the core challenges of the job. Regularly connecting with one or two other pastors can be an informal, but safe place to speak plainly, share wisdom, pray for each other and find encouragement.

When I worked in pastoral ministry, I met with two pastors from different churches monthly for coffee. We read scripture together, shared our struggles and successes, offered support and ended with praying for each other. In a very spiritual way, we were each other’s Aaron and Hur.

You may not each share the same traditions or theology, and it may take time to build enough trust to be vulnerable, but another pastor can understand the realities of what you’re going through.

2.  Consult a Professional.

Pastors are humans, too, with backstories, family histories and struggles like the rest of us. Yet, called to help others walk through their struggles, very few have dealt with their struggles or past traumas, many of which are unrelated to or happened before their call to ministry.

A licensed professional can help profoundly. They can help you see blind spots, better understand your family of origin, and give you tools to help process your thinking and emotions.

Because of confidentiality, a counselor or therapist offers a safe place to be brutally honest about your own story and the stress of the job. And if being seen walking into a counselor’s office feels daunting to you, virtual counseling is an excellent place for pastors to start.

3. Take a Sabbatical.

For too long the expectation of many pastors has been that they’re always on call, and many can’t remember the last time they took a day off. Every church should have a theology and policy of sabbatical for their pastors. Why? Because the word sabbatical comes from the word “sabbath,” or rest, which is precisely what God did after he finished the work of creation.

A sabbatical can be a significant break, but it doesn’t have to be for several months. It’s really about the spirit of a sabbatical—it’s a season of time to rest and renew your soul from the work of tending to others’ souls.

And this may be challenging, but if you can’t take one, you may need to ask, “Have I built something around me that’s unrealistic, or am I in a system that’s unfair?” Something may need to change with your church’s culture if you can’t take some form of a sabbatical.

The necessity of pastors taking an intentional rest for their work is so vital. We can rephrase the words of Jesus to say, “What does it profit a pastor to grow the biggest church but lose their soul?”

4. Keep Following Jesus.

Jesus is the model of keeping a healthy community. He spoke to thousands, discipled dozens, invested in 12, and was close to three.

He also knew when to get away on his own to rest and pray. But, of course, there’s a difference between isolation and solitude. Jesus recognized the difference between the two, and so should we.

Pastors must be as healthy as possible because their responsibility is serious. Like Moses, they need someone to come alongside them before they give out. And regardless if you’re a pastor or a parishioner, we’re all called to come to Jesus when we’re weary.

As Eugene Peterson paraphrased in The Message, Jesus says to all his disciples then and now: “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace.”

Having served as a pastor for two decades, I know that every statistic in our study represents a soul longing to be known and heard. Every pastor’s soul needs tending, and they can’t do it alone.