Hi, it’s a mom with three kids who have summer birthdays over here. And I can tell you from years of experience trying to plan parties that sometimes, nothing comes together—and it’s sad. When my son turned 5, only two kids showed up to his party. Several friends RSVPd “no” because their families would be away on vacation. Another let me know a last-minute trip had come together so they couldn’t make it. Someone else got a little too loosey-goosey with summer planning and mixed-up dates. She showed up for the party two days later.

This year, I didn’t even try to plan a party for my son because I have PTSD! Instead, we did a family celebration: A movie, roasting marshmallows in the backyard, and ordering his favorite stuffed crust pizza. The day turned out really awesome—if you ask me. Because instead of feeling guilty that a party didn’t come together, I was able to enjoy the day with my new 6-year-old. 

Just a few weeks later, we’re getting ready to celebrate my daughter’s 11th birthday and already I’m having trouble getting a group of more than a few friends who are in town to join us. She’s a little down about the situation, and so am I. Summer birthdays can be a real bummer!

How to Make Summer Birthdays Not a Bummer

The good news is that just because you can’t organize a huge bash with the whole class like kids who have birthdays during the school year, it doesn’t mean enjoying the milestone is a lost cause. After all, my son’s birthday was super memorable and sweet. 

“When parents think about creating a memorable experience tailored to what their child loves, a celebration can be memorable and magical even without a large group of friends,” says Erica James, the owner of Avalon Sunshine, which makes personalized birthday decorations that aim to create magical birthday moments at home.

“What kids really want is to feel special and loved on their birthday and that can be accomplished in so many ways,” James adds.

Well, phew, because this mom over here is done feeling trepidation around planning summer birthdays, and not wanting to let anyone down.

James shares her favorite alternative ideas to birthday parties that will still make your child smile from ear to ear all day long:

• Plan an experience for the birthday child. Whether it’s the zoo, an amusement or water park, go all out at a fun destination either as a family or with one or two special friends.
• Organize a “Yes Day.” Yes, just like the Jennifer Garner movie. Depending on your kiddo’s age, you may want to make suggestions to help get the fun started. Don’t forget to discuss the budget ahead of time.
• Pick the thing your child is most into and do it together as a family. Sure, you may have to pretend to be having the best time ever playing hide-and-seek, building a super intricate Lego city, watching Frozen for the millionth time, or doing makeup tutorials on one another, but that’s OK. Your child will feel super special when everyone gets involved in something they enjoy. 
• Arrange an outdoor movie night. From DIY screenings with a bedsheet to high-tech with top-end equipment, a movie outside is perfect for summertime. The flick is the birthday child’s choice of course. Simply add snacks and it’s a party, be it just with a few family members or a slew of neighborhood kids.

Meanwhile, Ariel Faulkner-O'Brien, Chief Marketing Officer at Sincere Corporation, also offers this idea: “To ensure your child has a memorable birthday celebration, consider a birthday group video with messages from all your child's friends, as well as family members. Platforms like Memento make it easy to collect and combine happy birthday video messages and surprise your child with a memorable group video on their special day. This not only makes the child feel recognized and celebrated but also bridges the gap created by physical distance and summer schedules.”

I’ll add one of my own suggestions to the pot based on what we’re planning for my teenager who is turning 16 at the end of the summer. Instead of a party, we’ll create 16 envelopes for her to open throughout the day that reveal fun surprises, from a makeover at Sephora to a dinner at her favorite restaurant. There will be smaller nuggets mixed in too; perhaps her drink of choice at Starbucks or a coupon to cook her favorite breakfast: French toast. 

OK, confession time: I can’t even take credit for this awesome idea—my 13-year-old saw it online! So, when all else fails, ask for help coming up with an idea to make a summer birthday stand out when a party isn’t a possibility. Remember that the ultimate goal is to create a special day full of memories; not to pull off the most over-the-top soiree since a Kardashian child celebrated a birthday.