You don’t need us to tell you that a relationship can be confusing—especially when you find yourself wondering whether it’s time to end one.

While it’s easy for your best friend to tell you to simply “dump him,” the truth is that conflict and feelings of uncertainty can also be a normal part of a relationship.

Sometimes, you know exactly when to say good riddance and celebrate your freedom, and other times you can feel stuck in love limbo, not sure whether to pull the trigger or put effort into making things work.

“Feeling uncertain about a relationship or considering a breakup can be a normal part of navigating complex emotions,” says clinical psychologist and certified sexologist Denise Renye.

“It doesn’t necessarily mean the relationship is doomed, but it’s important to explore these feelings and communicate openly with your partner to understand underlying issues and potential paths forward.”

Trust us, we know what the dreaded “should I end things?” phase feels like, and it’s not fun at all. Like, the anxiety around not knowing if you should cut things off because the relationship might get better? Been there.

Or wondering whether or not your partner will finally give you what you know you deserve? Done that. Eventually, these repetitive thoughts of “to break up or to not break up” get so overwhelming that you start consulting anyone for advice—i.e. blowing up the group chat, mining TikTok for wisdom, and, yes, googling stuff like “should I break up with my boyfriend?” (Which, hi, is probably how you ended up here. Welcome!)

And while we can try to help you make that decision, the reality is that only you can make the final call.

Here are some signs that it might be time to move on:

1. You Don’t Feel Like a Priority

You continuously feel neglected, insignificant, or not cared for in the relationship. Your partner may be busy with commitments (as we all are), but there’s a huge difference between a busy partner and someone who doesn’t make time for you.

“If your partner is consistently inattentive and neglectful of your needs and wants, despite your best efforts in communicating your needs to them, then it’s fair to say your partner is not valuing you and the relationship,” confirms registered psychotherapist Parisa Ghanbari. “Partners who are absorbed or lack adequate relationship skills are incapable of ever meeting your emotional needs.” Time to say buh-bye.

2. Talking About the Future Causes Tension

No one is saying that talking about the future isn’t scary, but if your partner cannot see a future at all, don’t be afraid to walk away. You don’t need to talk about marriage every single second, but a conversation or two about goals or expectations of the relationship is important, and if your partner can’t see that, well, that’s not a great sign.

“Holding this person without any intent for future plans limits not only them from finding their ‘happily ever after’, but also you. She recommends you ask yourself, “Where do I see myself in one year?” Do you see your partner with you?

3. You Are Easily Irritated by Your Partner’s Presence

We’ve all been irritated and frustrated by our partners, especially if we’re having a bad day and nothing seems to be going well.

But “when you feel like you’re going to scream [every time] your partner starts telling the same dumb joke or boring story, then you probably need to sit down and talk honestly about [the relationship].

If their mere presence irrationally irritates you even on good days, that’s a much bigger issue.

4. You’re Just Not That Into Them

This is an all-too-common problem in relationships, and, yes, it’s normal for feelings to seesaw a little bit. However, if your partner is super into you and you’re only kinda meh about them, or vice versa, then that’s not a great sign either.

Unfortunately, you can’t force attraction. It’s not the right person if the timing is off, and that’s one of the hardest relationship lessons anyone can learn.

5. You’re Dating Your S.O. for Who You Think They Should Be, Not for Who They Are

Re-read that again, and one more time for good measure. Too often, we see our partner through rose-coloured lenses rather than through clear eyes, and because of that, it’s easy to want to wait for them to change as a person.

But ask yourself: Does this person even want to change? Are you willing to wait for them?

“Waiting for someone to change their internal qualities, like their values or personality, takes a tremendous amount of effort, willpower, growth, and hard work.

You have to ask yourself if you’d be willing to stay with them if they didn’t change this aspect of themselves. If the answer is no, it’s time to move on.