Lisa Taher writes about parenting in midlife and the pain and pleasure of watching our children grow, with her five top tips on taking care of yourself

Why doesn’t it get any easier? Each day I wake up, a tight knot in my stomach, a feeling of heaviness weighed down by sadness. When my eldest daughter went to university, a part of me left too. When she was born, I didn’t even imagine there’d be a time when she’d become an adult, leave home, and begin her own journey.

Subconsciously, as each year passed, I was aware that she was becoming more independent, needing me less and that the dynamics of our relationship were gradually changing. It was like I was grieving for a part of my life that would be lost forever. I changed as a wife, a mother, a woman. I struggled so much with my identity, my role in life, who I was and what I would become.

The realisation that my children were growing up came as a shock and affected me deeply. I was unprepared for how this would impact me emotionally and it took me almost a year to start to feel like myself again.