We needed Ronaldo to save us from more England weeping and wailing; we can all unite in laughing at the cry baby.

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Ronaldo is plain embarrassing
Game is ongoing, but Ronaldo is just embarrassing. Me, me, me…

All the free kicks, nothing else of note, then misses a penalty and promptly bursts into tears.

Pathetic.

Was a great player, never a team player though. The Saudi spotlight being on him seems to have made him even more of an insufferable prick.

It’s not passion. It’s wanting everything to be about him.

I hope he doesn’t score tonight. Portugal would be better without him.
Stu – Gunner in France, with two teams to support. Neither looking great

…​Greatest Of All Tears.

Somebody call a wambulance.
Simon S, Cheshire

What a save!
Genuinely detest Ronaldo but that’s not a bad peno. It’s an incredible save.
Paul

Sack Southgate and pick England team by public vote
After reading the ‘Should ‘appalling’ Gareth Southgate be sacked or stay if England actually win the Euros?’ headline (good work in forcing an intrigued click), I felt the need to write in regardless of what opinions existed in this edition of the Mailbox. The very simple answer is that of course he should be sacked! (Though didn’t he say he was leaving after this tournament himself? So can he be ‘sacked’?)

Anyway, he’s completely useless and for someone who has built up so much belief and hope over the years, it’s baffling as to how we are SO rubbish in this tournament. Why isn’t he using the players the way you don’t need coaching badges to see? I don’t know anyone who hasn’t called for Rice 6, Bellingham 8, Foden 10 triangle, with Saka/Palmer wide right, and Gordon wide left…please for the love of God play Anthony Gordon on the left Gareth!

Also, does Kane really deserve to be starting? Forget that he’s captain, no one understands what he says anyway so that’s pointless. He ambles around, drops deep when he shouldn’t and even his ‘amazing’ passing wasn’t so amazing on Sunday.

Great, he gets goals and there’s no denying his finishing, but honestly, I think if Toney had been on the end of that Toney headed assist, Toney would have scored. I also liked the change in pace we showed when Watkins made his appearance in the first game (or second? Can’t remember, it’s all just a blur that I want to forget I wasted my life watching). At least there was pace in behind the defenders.

Southgate has been so bad that I honestly wouldn’t feel it a big deal if he got sacked today ahead of the QF match. Just put the starting line-up to a public vote. Even though last time we did that we ended up with Brexit, I’m sure the British public could still put out a better, more balanced, and bleedingly obvious side than Southgate. Too far? Maybe…but just sort it out Gareth! And to round this off, going back to the original headline…LOL @ even the thought that England could actually win this!
MK (Dubai)

Sack him? Really? Have you all gone mental?
I think Southgate has driven some England fans who write into Football 365 absolutely insane. Sack the manager even if we win the Euros? Of course the manger isn’t going to be sacked if we win a major tournament. That wouldn’t happen. And Mat (the last tournament that England were enjoyable to watch was France 1998), you were gutted when one of our players scored? Scored an equaliser in the 95th minute of normal time? You must be absolutely crazy!

And the last tournament that England were enjoyable to watch was France 1998? Are you kidding? Losing to Romania in the group and then getting knocked out on penalties to Argentina? Enjoyable? Wow.
Dan, London

Will the Irish support England now?
Opinions are like arseholes. Everybody has them and no one really wants to examine another persons in detail. This in itself is just a box of arseholes.

That being said, I’ll unbutton and drop trou, because I’d like to show you mine.

As an Irishman it’s often been said that the reason we don’t want the English team to win (outside the 800 years stuff) is the fans. We do, after all supports all of the clubs you have on offer, so it does make sense.

I think England have done an amazing thing. They’ve gotten through the rounds pissing off their own support so much, with Gareth Southgate seen as being so far out of his depth that it honestly feels like the fans want him to lose. Like how the algorithms work on the socials, there’s a certain bit of confirmation bias seeking by the angry fans.

Back to the amazing thing. I kind of want England to win now to spite the fans. How bitter will Caroline be when she has to watch Gareth and his ragtag bunch of apparent misfits parade the streets of London with trophy in tow.

Gas.
Barry

Here for the sh*thousing
In 2001 Arsenal lost the cup final due to a very late winner from Michael Owen and the referee not spotting Henchoz playing basketball in his own area.

Compare this to 1993 when Arsenal beat Sheffield Wednesday for the second time that Spring even though the Yorkshiremen were definitely the more attractive team to watch play football.

Which made me happier? Being by far the better team but losing the final or sh*thousing our way to yet more silverware?

If England sh*thouse their way to winning the Euros, you won’t find me complaining. We didn’t deserve to win on Sunday and I couldn’t care less.

Gareth ‘Sh*house’ Southgate – I’m totally here for it.
Graham Simons, Gooner, Norf London

Gareth Southgate cannot react
I believe that Southgate has had an overwhelmingly positive impact on the England team over his reign, but I just don’t think he’s a Head Coach. Better suited to a Director of Football role where he lays the foundations, sets the ethos, and creates the overall tactical blueprint.

But he’s completely incapable of reacting to evolving situations, seems to decide the players, formation, and tactics months in advance, and then completely buries his head in the sand and just ‘trusts the process’. Form, fitness, style of the opponents gets completely ignored, but what looks like a great plan in February is always likely to need tweaking in June.

Shaw’s injury and Chilwell’s lack of form should have scuppered the Foden off the left plan. Good in theory, but the lack of an overlapping left footed LB makes Foden entirely predictable – he has no option but to cut inside and the defence is consistently ready for him. If Shaw isn’t fit then we need to play a natural left sided forward.

Again the Kane 9 and Jude 10 tandem sounds great on paper, but they’re both occupying the same space and no one is running beyond the centre backs. A point not missed by our opponents as they’re just crowding them out and making both ineffective. Jude is looking burnt out after a crazy season, and Kane just doesn’t look fit – can’t press or make the runs behind. Wouldn’t suggest dropping them because of the fatigue, class players, but drop Jude to 8 to get them out of each others way at least.

Walker is bang out of form, offering absolutely nothing in attack but also looking uncharacteristically vulnerable at the back. We’re blessed with a number of very good RBs, notably Trent – give him a go.

I’m a Project Manager by profession and Southgate just reminds me of myself and my colleagues – we create a plan in advance and then stubbornly stick to it despite all the evidence it’s not working, lol. Southgate needs to start proactively reacting to the ever evolving situation he finds himself in rather than stubbornly sticking to plans he made months ago. That’s football, especially international management. A lot of love and respect for the guy, but increasingly thinking he’s an incredibly limited coach who can’t react to anything that can’t be planned for months in advance.
Simon, Bristol LFC

But maybe he does have a better idea than us…
It’s easy to criticize. It’s even easier to criticize after the fact.

The thing that makes it particularly easy is that your theory can never be tested. You can say you would have brought on so and so as a substitute in the whateverth minute, but it didn’t happen. As a result you’ll never know whether it would have led to a better or worse outcome.

I’ll be the first to admit that during the second half of Sunday’s match I was saying (quite loudly actually) that Southgate should be fired even if they won. I’ll also say that I would have taken off Bellingham and Kane since they both seemed so ineffective, and my friend Phil was bemoaning the lack of Grealish as an option off the bench. But who knows? A squad that included Grealish, and the genius move of substituting both goalscorers, might well have had them all on a plane home today. We’ll never know.

So where does that leave us? If England had lost yesterday everyone would feel justified in calling for Southgate’s head. But they didn’t. So what now? It seems very unlikely to me that he’ll be replaced mid-tournament, even if that would ultimately be the best move. Unless England come out next match playing with verve and swagger, and looking like 1970s Brazil, they will be criticized even if they beat Switzerland. And if they lose to Switzerland everyone in the media will suggest what they would have done differently that would have resulted in a different outcome. And there will be a flood of letters from people like me opining on how they would have done things differently, and led the lads to victory. And we’ll never know.

Maybe, and please excuse me I’m just putting it out there, but maybe Gareth Southgate does have a better idea of how to manage England than you or me? Maybe even than Gary Neville, Ian Wright or Roy Keane?

Nah, he’s rubbish!
Andrew (Grealish for England!) – Canada

Disorganised insanity prevails
The old saying that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing but expecting a different outcome defines Southgate.

I couldn’t watch the game live as we had another event booked in advance to attend, so on the way I kept watching the MBM. I nearly fell off my bus seat when I saw Southgate had picked almost the same team. Really?

I had read a few articles defending the team saying the ‘backlash’ is affecting them and while I understand they are humans and might be affected, the reality is they are well paid professionals. Surely they can analyse their own performances and admit to themselves they have been below par?

After watching the game later, I realised the MBM wasn’t being overly critical.

The idea Walker is better than TAA is stunningly one dimensional. He is a better defender? Not on Sunday night’s or this tournament’s evidence. He can’t pass and when he does go up is often caught out of position and only his pace saves or almost saves him. TAA doesn’t have his pace so can occasionally get caught out. Isn’t that what your midfield and central defenders are supposed to watch for? But TAA’s passing is sublime and can open up opponents. But it helps to have the left wing covered for cross field balls that really open up the opposition and keep the defence stretched rather than only having to defend 2/3 of the pitch. But no, we’d rather have a FB who can’t pass and take Saka out of the game.

When players do make a run they are always offside. Foden constantly runs and twirls with the ball, as does Bellingham. A lot of ‘look at me’ but little output. Eventually players just stop moving. Granted his options are limited on the left because Trippier isn’t an outlet. Sure he pretends and goes to the touch line but rarely passes forward and usually sends it back. On the two occasions Trippier rinsed it chances were created and Slovakia looked shaken.

Slovakia had little ball but when they did, players immediately ran forward into space and team mates made one time passes that cut out our midfield and created chances. England had many opportunities to do the same but chose the same, safe, sideways or backwards pass – after thinking about it a long time.

Slovakia were all over England, literally. And the ref missed calling a lot of it, as they have done throughout the tournament. But as pros, surely they get that it should only improve their game to move the ball on quickly. The reason they can’t is that many are playing in unfamiliar positions with unfamiliar team mates. Whereas in a club game a ball will be automatically played into a space on the field that time and again your team mate will have automatically moved into, makes for fast effective and often mesmerizing football.

But it’s hard to achieve in international games. We get that. But at least if Southgate played players in positions they were familiar, it might work. When England have looked cohesive under Southgate that has always been the case – but then he tinkers into a formation what he thinks is ‘safe’ but is actually creating more problems. The fact we let in so few goals deludes into thinking it is working – but we shouldn’t be letting in a lot of goals against the teams we have faced so far – but should be scoring a lot more. And attack is the best form of defence.

We saw Bellingham give the world the ‘finger’, mouthing ‘who else’ after doing zip for the previous 94 minutes other than put his arms on the air whenever a Slovakian had the temerity to tackle him. “Don’t they know who I am?” One writer said it’s just his self-belief, but true self-understanding would have seen him actually play better, so not needing a last gasp effort. And then he goes completely anonymous again, after performing the ‘don’t they know who I am’ celebration with Kane. I am beginning to seriously dislike Bellingham now.

Football has moved on from safe. Pressing, in all its forms, is the great leveller, when performed well. Better sides can prevail but they can’t be lazy, can’t hang on to the ball, be disorganized and hope their better players win out.

Coaches of the ‘lesser’ teams have all used pressing properly. Not just sitting back and defending deep. They used it in qualifying with middling results but carried on using it. Organized and effective on the break. And, unusually, credit to UEFA for the Nations League, these teams have a chance to go head to head and be competitive and it gives them the confidence they needed going into this tournament.

England are that disorganized team at the moment, railing against all these lower ranked teams giving it to them. Not knowing how to press, no semblance of a plan, no idea on the field – other than to put their hands in the air – as if to say “I am so much better than this – blame someone else.”
Paul McDevitt

Southgate is Michael Scott
Michael Scott is incompetent. No two ways about it. He is unemployable. He is completely the wrong man for the job.

He also successfully absorbed another branch, pissed off all the new staff so that they left other than Andy Barnard from the Hangover whilst retaining the clients meaning he was running the most profitable branch in the company. When a senior manager played by Idris Elba was introduced by corporate to create a layer between them, he left, set up a rival paper company that undercut Dunder Mifflin so was bought out and go his old job back and Luther was sidelined to manage all the other branches and appear at the picnics. He was wheeled out to the other offices to pass on his knowledge to comedic effect.

The guy couldn’t fall out of a tree and hit the ground, yet somehow had managed to outperform all the other branches. Everyone can see with heir bare eyes what he was doing wrong but somehow he was producing results.

I bet Southgate has bought himself a world’s best manager mug and Harry Kane thinks that he is assistant to the national manager! Kyle Walker is Meredith, Pickford is Creed, Bellingham is Packman – turns up once in a while, everyone on the bench are just the warehouse guys – not sure why they got invited, Harry Maguire is Kevin, Trent is Toby, Michael Scott would say that Guehi and Saka are both Stanley.
Alex, South London

The big issue
France’s kit looks like when I wash whites.
Jason G, Montreal, Canada