She shuddered at the sound of thunder, clutching my hand ever so tightly. She was trembling, as the car made its way out of our wedding venue. Was she shivering a little bit? Maybe she got shocked by the lightning. Does she have a fear of thunder? Yes, that must be it — a fear of thunderstorms! 

That is the only vivid memory I have of the rainy afternoon when we got married.  The rest is a haze, possibly because the event was an overwhelming experience.

Since then, whenever I hear a loud, sudden thunderclap, my mind automatically goes back to that afternoon, followed by a hug if she is around, to reassure her that it's alright.  

Monsoon has always been a joyous season for me. People speak of the monsoon blues but the rains come with a sense of thrill and awe, especially in the brief minutes just before it actually starts pouring. It is also a time of hurry and restlessness.

Sometimes, I am running for shelter. Or I am rushing to the terrace to bring back the clothes that are laid out for drying. Or perhaps, I am going to the balcony just to enjoy the view. Back in my childhood, I would excitedly take a football, call my neighbours, and go out to play. Nowadays, I rush to her in case she gets panicked because of the thunderstorm.

I love the anticipation and the pre-rain play of nature — the smell of the earth, a drop in temperature, the erratic dance of the trees amidst the wind going wild, grey clouds crowding the skies...

All these, I would assume, were happening in that afternoon last monsoon, when we were in the car going home but all I remember is her nervous hand tightly held hand on mine.

A year has passed since then. Another monsoon -- and our first anniversary!

She dressed up for the occasion, in a simple blue saree. The plan: a long drive with a short stopover at some nice, rural place.

Her fascination with blue sarees on rainy days knows no bounds. During our honeymoon, she did not forget to pack a blue saree. When a date night got cancelled because of heavy rain and flooded streets, which made me put together an impromptu candle-light dinner in the house with leftover pizzas, she was wearing yet another blue cotton saree.

I was not surprised that she draped herself in blue to venture out on a rainy day during our anniversary.

The stopover in the afternoon, exactly one year since the wedding, has formed yet another vivid memory, and an eye-opening one at that. 

It all started with the usual pre-rain play of nature: the smell of the earth, a drop in temperature, the erratic dance of the trees amidst the wind going wild, grey clouds crowding the skies -- and then an ear-shattering thunder!

I quickly went close to her whilst my mind automatically flashed back a year ago, when I thought that she had a fear of thunders. But to my surprise, she was not panicked at all.

It was then she revealed that she was not afraid of thunders. Here's her version of the story: as the storm took over that afternoon last year after our wedding, yet another presented itself in her heart. It was the uncertainty of the new life ahead -- a whirlwind of anticipations and concerns, and the millions of "what-ifs" a bride feels when she is about to enter a new family -- that made her panic.

Yet, in this one year, whenever there was rain and thunder, she never disclosed the real reason; in fact, she pretended to be panicked sometimes -- to break the ice as a new couple in an arranged marriage.

I let out a smile, and hurriedly went back to the car as rainfall began, promising myself to continue drawing close to her whenever the sky rumbles!

Model: Uzma