As we celebrate almost 250 years since the U.S. of A. was formed, most of us think of the freedoms we have. Since we were wee tykes, we were taught that America was the “land of the free…”.
But what does that mean?
When we think of freedom, we often associate it with freedom of the press or religion, to love and work as we choose, or to come and go as we wish without fear or hindrance. Granted, many of those are still works in progress, especially for the people in our country who are not able to avail themselves of as much privilege as others. Yet, none of those exist if we don’t have the fundamental basic freedom of being able to be who we really are.
Freedom is a luxury.
One cannot feel free if in one’s mind, they are trapped. If he or she is afraid, living in poverty, suffering with poor health, or unable to perform the basics that life requires, freedom is — at best — an abstract concept. Whereby, often times the constraints imposed upon us are by society or due to physical limitations; many times — I’d go so far as to say “most of the time” — these barriers are self-imposed, based on our beliefs, those thoughts and feelings we have convinced ourselves are true, irrespective of if they really are.
One is often times not able to do what would be in their best interests, or to experience the pleasures of life, because they do not believe that they can or that they deserve to. If I don’t believe that I can do something or I am worthy of it, then I will not try; after all what sense does that make?
No, it’s not logical, but we don’t make decisions based solely on logic. We are emotional beings first, logical second. That’s not to see we are irrational (mostly); it’s merely pointing out that rationality may be the steering wheel of life, but emotions are the gas pedal. Pressing the gas pedal without steering the car is dangerous. Conversely, sitting in the steering wheel and turning the steering wheel without giving the car any fuel does nothing to move one forward. We require both but movement (change) starts with emotions.
In a nutshell, thoughts bounce across the synapses of our gray matter. The beliefs and judgments we have about those thoughts elicit feelings, which propel actions. The sum total of our actions constitutes our lives.
As an example, if I believe that I am unlovable, I might feel sad, distrustful of others, and possibly even ashamed about who I am. Should I try to seek a happy relationship with those as my foundation, a potential partner would either have to share those feelings, which is obviously a recipe for a painful relationship. Or, it would have to be someone who will “put up” with my baggage, despite not sharing the same feelings. It’s not a major leap of faith to project that a relationship with two such contrary partners will lead to arguments and disagreements, initiating a painful end to the relationship — in effect, creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. This principle applies to every aspect of our life.
How does one free themselves from limiting beliefs?
Firstly, as the bumper sticker proclaims, “Don’t believe everything you think.” Our thought patterns — just like many of our behaviors — are habits. When we were young, our neural pathways (thoughts) were unpaved and without limitation or judgment (which we called “imaginative”). As we age, we absorb more and more the collective thoughts of those around us; not out of weakness, but due to a natural, healthy desire to be part of “the group.” Many of those ideas however are limiting.
Deepak Chopra, a prominent author and lecturer in today’s New Thought movement, said, “I have projected the same images day after day, becoming prisoner to the known. But the known is dead and past now and I must buy my ticket to freedom by embracing the fresh and unknown.”
If I am willing to look at, and lovingly, gently and humorously adjust those thoughts, my feelings will change, as will the behaviors that follow, manifesting a happier, healthier, more fulfilling life, giving me the ultimate freedom: the ability to be me.