Megan, a school counselor who shares advice on social media under the handle @guidinglittlehearts, says common frenemy behavior includes leaving a child out, saying hurtful things or being extremely controlling.

On Instagram, Megan shared her top tips to help children manage and overcome these tricky relationships, saying the first step is to pinpoint whether the friend is the "right fit."

Parents can do this by asking their child questions such as these: How do you feel when you're with them? Can you relax around them? Do they seem interested in what you think or feel? When you make a mistake, how do they respond?

Megan also advised parents not to speak negatively of the friend in front of their child. Instead, the questions could help them understand the situation better and develop new friends.

Speaking from a "school counselor lens," Megan wrote on Instagram, "I've found that when others act unkindly, it's helpful to understand what's going on for them."

Asking a child open-ended questions about the situation—such as "I wonder if something is bothering them" or "Do you think they might be having a hard time at home or school?"—could help encourage them to think about why their friend may be acting this way.

Parents can also teach healthy boundaries to their children, letting them know that it's OK to reinforce their worth and self-respect in the friendship.

Megan advised teaching children this phrase: "I want to be your friend, but it's not okay to _______."

Role-playing scenarios is another way to give children the vocabulary to describe their feelings, such as frustration or sadness. Parents can pose questions such as these, she said: "What could you do if your friend is being mean? How can you respond if they ignore you?"

This could also be a great way to help children feel more comfortable in standing up themselves.

"Reassure your child that they can always come to you or another trusted adult for support," Megan said.

If parents notice negative changes in their child's mood or behavior because of a frenemy, Megan advised taking an observational approach.

"For example, you could say, 'Whenever you spend time with Megan, I've noticed you come home angry and upset. Is everything okay?' This is more effective than saying, 'I don't want you hanging around with Megan.'"

If you have a family dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.

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This story was originally published June 23, 2024, 6:00 AM.