If you have young children, you have undoubtedly had the experience of leaving your children with someone you consider safe, only to find that when you return, your child is in an absolute state.

Somehow, they are convinced that you, their parent, will never come back again.

While we have been away, they have first wondered why we would leave them behind, and if we are coming back for them, despite their caretakers’ assurances?  Then wondered if there is something wrong with them?  Then wondered if we love them? And finally convinced themselves that they had been abandoned by us.

We, as parents, wonder “with shock”, why our child would doubt us? Why would they even THINK that we would abandon them? Surely, in the love we have expressed to them, they know us better than that?

And then there is that child that even though we have returned, continues in that state of wretchedness, feeling that we still do not love them, cannot be trusted and still will abandon them.  Also, totally against our character we wonder “in shock”.

Spiritual doubt is exactly that

“There is a fascinating kind of wretchedness that comes with doubting God (and His promises) that is not easily given up.” – Hannah Whittell Smith

It is a habit of doubt that will call into question the character of God and all His promises.

I personally have battled with doubt in the last year.  Despite my better judgement and all the Heart Treasures, I have written here, I did call into question whether God’s promises were for me and had in my own way, decided that His Word must be lying.

Doubting God

We can see this doubt operating when:

• We fight the TRUTH that is God’s own words, wanting some more reliable proof than the simple Word of God.
• We choose to believe that what God has promised is for other people – not me!
• OR that God would maliciously delay all that is good for me, because “my case” is different from others.
• OR “There must be some reason that God has forsaken me” or does not love me, or is indifferent to my welfare, my hopes, my dreams, or desires.
• OR there cannot be any other explanation BUT that I have fallen out of favor with God and until I work it up, perform or step out of some unknown sin – God’s promises do not apply to me.
• OR quite simply – that I have become invisible to God and He no longer sees me OR my needs.
• OR I am too wicked, too difficult, too undeserving of God’s favor

Whatever the reasoning, it is possible for God’s children to not be believers, but doubters.   Then God looking at our hearts, wonders “with shock” – how we could believe that of Him?  Do we not know His heart, His character?  Do we not believe this to be Who He is?

We like to believe that as believers, we have worked these old doubts out, we have learnt the words that express faith, and practice showing faith. However, I believe that doubt is sometimes easier to hold onto, and so, some of us are still doubting.

We may have got rid of doubt, but not the habit of doubting.

We have a “fascinating kind of wretchedness that we are not prepared to give up.”  We are in the habit of doubting.

In all the analysis of my doubt, I had to admit that I had developed the habit of doubting.  So much so, that it was quite easy for me to question all the promises of God that I had previously fervently believed.  It was not so much what I believed as what I chose to believe about God.

I had been in a doubting habit.

To doubt is to call God a liar, to declare that HIS WORD is not truthful, whether about His character or person or actions.

It is blasphemy.

The opposite is faith.  Believing the simple word of God to be true.

“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for. “Hebrews 11:1

There is a difference between a habit of doubt and a habit of faith.

• Have you questioned God’s character, His word?
• How long has this been going on?

Doubting, when it has taken its full course, makes God out to be the enemy of self.  It ushers into our hearts fear, a poor self-image, judgement and condemnation.   WE become bound up in doubt and we need Jesus to release us from the bondage of doubting.

We must make a choice.  It rests in our will.  It is a personal freedom that we have to doubt, and this must be given up once and for all.  We must choose to trust Jesus and choose a path of faith. We need to choose again and again. We must agree to a life of continual trust.  It is a goal to…

Make your believing as inevitable as your obedience.

Be in the habit of faith.

Father, I confess that I have not just doubted You, but been in the habit of doubting.  This is reflected in my thoughts that have called your character and person into question.  I confess that I am Your child and that I am loved by You, that You delight in me, are a faithful God and worthy of by trust.  I choose to trust You Lord.  I choose to give up my right to question Your character and Your actions and ask Lord that You break this habit of doubt in me and replace it with a habit of faith.