A FATHER of three has spent over $364,000 to become a single dad by choice after years of rejection and harsh comments from people in his life.
Nathan Chan used egg donation and surrogates to fulfill his dream of having a family, doing it all on his own.
The 39-year-old now has two daughters and one son after spending more than a decade battling adoption rejections, failed embryo transfers, and miscarriages.
He hopes by sharing his story that more men will dare to become single dads.
“Having children is the best decision I ever made — I’m a very proud single dad by choice,” Nathan said.
“For years, I focused on travel and work, waiting for the ‘right person’ to come into my life so we could be parents together, but I knew I wanted to be a father more than anything.
“After six surrogates, three egg donors, and 10 embryo transfers, my first daughter Nanette was born via my sixth gestational surrogate.
“My two other children were born in the same year to different surrogates.
“People come over to me and tell me I am crazy, but I always take the opportunity to educate people.
“[They] will come up to me and say, ‘Oh, is it dad’s weekend to babysit?’ or ‘Wow, you have your hands full today,’ and that is honestly so offensive to any father, in a relationship or not.
“We are not babysitters.
“Sometimes people will say I’m so ‘brave’ to do this by myself, but I am perfectly capable, as a single male parent, to be able to love and raise kids.
“I have no regrets — to me, becoming a father is priceless.”
Nathan, who is from Alberta, Canada, first decided that he wanted to become a dad in 2010.
However, he was met with fierce negativity from those around him and faced rejection from adoption and foster agencies.
THE PRICE OF PARENTHOOD
Becoming a dad also came with a massive financial price tag, costing over $500,000 CAD ($363,933 USD) for fertility treatments and expenses.
In the beginning, Nathan used his savings and took out a loan against his mortgage.
He also started his surrogacy journey in more financially accessible countries like India, but when that sadly didn't work, he had to take a break, both financially and emotionally.
After saving more funds, he tried again in Canada, but this heartbreakingly resulted in a stillborn.
After the loss, Nathan continued to save and do each part of the process in stages, making lots of financial sacrifices along the way and working even harder to pay for the treatments over a decade.
“If you want something so badly, you have to make sacrifices to save the money," he said.
"I understand the financial struggles for those going through it.
“There were times when I was at the stage of reusing toilet paper to save money."
FINALLY A FAMILY
Nathan's eldest, Nanette, is now six years old. His son, Newton, turned three in May, while his youngest daughter, Neptune Nina, will be three in August.
The children were conceived via three different surrogates.
With just three months between the birth of his son and youngest daughter, Nathan explains that he was so lucky to have the help of two tandem surrogates, and his children are often mistaken as twins.
“I certainly had my hands full with two newborns and a toddler, and I sometimes wonder how we ever got out of the house," he said.
“Being a single dad by choice to three little ones is not for the faint of heart, but I wouldn’t change it for the world.
“We are complete as a family."
GOING PLACES
He's even managed to travel as a solo parent of three.
“I have taken quite a few adventures around the world with the kids so far," he said.
“I went to Alaska, Disneyworld, Colombia, and Mexico with all three of them.
“We have also been to Paris, Seattle, Argentina, Australia, New Zealand, and Ireland, too.
“I've had to become more organized than ever, but I couldn't imagine not doing these things with my little family that I strived so hard to create.
“I love experiencing all my favorite places with them.”
FERTILITY MISSION
Nathan is also the founder and managing director of Proud Fertility, a surrogacy and egg donation consultancy in Canada.
“It is so rewarding to work with and help to grow other families," he said.
“I hope that by sharing my story, I will inspire other single men who want to become fathers to explore all their options.”
When asked about his dating life, Nathan says there is no one special in his life — except for his kids — but he is open to the possibility of meeting someone.
“I am still very single, but I would welcome someone into our lives if they fit our very unique puzzle," he said.
“My children are always my priority, but never say never.
“I have a full house and a full heart, and I am completely outnumbered, but I am beyond blessed.”
Now, he is readying to celebrate his seventh Father’s Day.
“It has taken more than a decade to complete my family, but when I look at my children, I know it was all worth it," he said.
“Being a father is a dream come true for me, and every Father’s Day, I contact all my surrogates to thank them.
“My children are here because of their generosity and love and I have so much gratitude to the women who have helped me.
“Being a dad of three is everything to me.”