Two Clear Signs You’re Dating a Grandiose Narcissist
Grandiose narcissism is a personality trait characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a constant need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others.
Individuals with grandiose narcissism often believe they are superior to others, have a sense of entitlement, and seek to dominate social interactions. They may exaggerate their achievements, expect special treatment, and exploit others to achieve their goals.
“Grandiosity is commonly expressed through arrogance, self-enhancement tactics (e.g., explicit expressions of greatness or attractiveness) and social boldness (e.g., nominating oneself for a leadership position),” explains Kennedy Balzen, lead author of a 2022 study on narcissism and relationships.
Research shows that grandiose narcissism can be conceptualized as the presence of narcissistic admiration and narcissistic rivalry, two behaviours with a shared goal of enhancing and maintaining one’s inflated self-concept, often at the expense of close relationships.
Here’s how the two core traits of grandiose narcissism negatively impact romantic connections.
1. Narcissistic Admiration
Narcissistic admiration refers to the intense desire for attention, praise, and adoration that individuals with narcissistic traits seek from others. This serves to bolster their fragile self-esteem and validate their inflated sense of self-importance.
This quest for admiration can affect relationships due to the following narcissistic qualities.
2. Narcissistic Rivalry
Narcissistic rivalry involves defensive strategies aimed at protecting one’s self-image through aggressive behavior toward others. This trait reflects a deep-seated insecurity and a constant need to maintain a sense of superiority.
Individuals high in narcissistic rivalry may engage in exploitative behaviors and harbor envy toward others’ accomplishments as it threatens their grandiose self-image.
In relationships, narcissistic rivalry can have profound and damaging effects. Here’s how it may manifest:
These competitive dynamics make it difficult for their partners to feel emotionally safe or valued, which can continue even after the relationship has ended.
A 2021 study examined the emotional reactions of individuals with grandiose narcissism after a break-up and found that both narcissistic rivalry and admiration were associated with greater anger towards an ex-partner.
Additionally, researchers found that while admiration traits were associated with a more positive perception of an ex-partner and rivalry was associated with a negative bias towards them, narcissistic admiration also made individuals more likely to initiate these break-ups due to a lack of interest, highlighting the superficial nature of their romantic connections.
Initially, individuals with grandiose narcissism can appear naturally charming, confident, and attractive, but with time, as narcissistic rivalry rears its ugly head, their true intentions begin to surface and derail their relationships.
The exploitative, envious, and confrontational behaviors associated with this trait undermine trust and breed resentment, ultimately making narcissistic partners unlikable and difficult to maintain long-term relationships with.
It’s essential for individuals involved with them to set boundaries, prioritize their own well-being, and seek support if they feel trapped in these relationship dynamics.
For narcissistic individuals, it is also vital to seek support to cultivate self-awareness and work through their self-promoting and antagonistic tendencies to build healthier, long-lasting relationships.