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How To Get Your Toddler To Stay in Bed Until a Reasonable Hour

parents.com 2 days ago

If you don't need an alarm clock because you can count on your toddler waking you up before dawn, it might be time to take action. Establishing regular sleeping and waking routines is not only crucial for your energy levels and sanity but also for your child's health and development.

In fact, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) warns that kids who are regularly sleep-deprived often become irritable, have difficulty concentrating, and are at greater risk of depression, hypertension, obesity, and headaches.

So what can you do to get your toddler to stay in bed even when they rise early and ready to start their day? With these expert tips and tried-and-true parent tricks, you can motivate your kids to try to sleep in a little later or quietly entertain themselves when they can't.

Child walking in parents bed
Parents / Photo Composite by Zackary Angeline / Getty Images

Why Kids Wake Up Early

It’s natural to assume that a child who rises before the sun has gone to sleep too early the night before and has simply gotten more than enough shut-eye. Sometimes, that's the case. The National Sleep Foundation says that toddlers need 11 to 14 hours of sleep in a 24-hour period while children ages 3 to 5 should get 10 to 13 total hours of sleep per day.

Even though there is a recommended amount of sleep by age, it’s important to remember that the recommendations are based on averages and are presented as a range.

"It's true that some kids simply need less sleep than others," says Victoria Tenenbaum, a sleep and behavior counselor and member of the Society of Behavioral Sleep Medicine.

But in very young children especially, a too-late bedtime can lead to a sleep deficit that prompts early wake-ups, adds Miss Megan, a pediatric sleep and child development expert and creator of Ebb & Flow. “Counterintuitively it is often the case that the later a child goes to sleep, the earlier they wake up," she says.

Sometimes a small child will jump out of bed early because they aren't accustomed to sleeping routines or don't fully understand expectations.

“In many cases, revising the schedule, setting boundaries, and learning more about how your child falls asleep at bedtime and if they remain asleep for the whole night will provide a better understanding of their early rising habit—and how you can help address it,” says Tenenbaum.

Strategies for Getting Your Kid To Stay in Bed

You might be ready to hire an overnight sitter and check into a hotel just to get a decent night's sleep. But before you do that, give these strategies a try to get your child to sleep a bit longer in the mornings.

Optimize their sleeping environment

A good starting point is to examine your child’s sleeping environment. Something simple might be leading to early wake-ups. A light from outside, neighborhood noise, or electronic devices inside the bedroom, might all contribute to sleep troubles in kids.

“Putting on blackout curtains, setting a noise machine, and clearing the bedroom from any distractions are all positive steps,” says Tenenbaum. 

For mom Tania of Boston, a white noise machine was the solution for her 2-year-old daughter Bianca.

“The birds in our yard were chirping so loudly they woke her up every morning,” she says. “Our white noise machine was the best investment ever—it drowns out birdsong and any other disruptive sounds, like early morning traffic.”

Tweak the sleep schedule when necessary

An important factor in combatting early risings is making sure your child's daytime schedule sets up good sleep.

“Too many or too long naps during the day for their stage of development can result in fighting naps and bedtimes, split nights, or early mornings,” says Miss Megan, who has helped children form healthy sleep habits for more than 20 years.

Rather than enforce a rigid schedule, she recommends learning to go with the flow, changing up sleep times when necessary, based on your child’s needs on any given day. Their sleep habits may also change with the seasons, such as a slightly later bedtime during the summer when there’s a longer period of sunlight. 

Miss Megan says it’s common for a child who wakes after 5 a.m. not to be able to get back to sleep again.

“My solution to this is to do your best—barring scheduling constraints—to align your child’s night to their internal natural rhythm so long as bedtime is not before 6 p.m. and wake-up is not before 6 a.m.,” she explains. 

Create a bedtime routine

A 2015 study by Dr. Jodi Mindell, associate director of the Sleep Center at the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia, found that children with a consistent bedtime routine get better sleep. They go to bed earlier, fall asleep faster, wake up less frequently throughout the night, and sleep longer overall.

So if you follow the same bedtime routine with your toddler all week (including weekends), you'll soon reap the benefits. A good starting point is getting into pajamas and brushing their teeth, followed by 10 minutes of reading stories or singing songs before the lights go out—at the same time every night.

After you say goodnight, don't linger. If your child gets used to falling asleep with you next to them, they will naturally want you there as soon as they arise. Cue the pitter-patter of tiny footsteps to your bed as soon as they wake.

“Observe your child’s behavior at bedtime—do they know how to [fall asleep] without external support? Do they know how to stay calmly in bed, alone, for a reasonable amount of time until they fall asleep?” asks Tenenbaum. 

Learning how to self-soothe at night will help them be more independent in the morning, and may be a key to learning how to get your toddler to stay in bed longer.

Provide a self-soothing basket

When your child is older than 12 months, it can be helpful to keep a basket of safe, age-appropriate activities within reach of their crib or bed to keep them occupied while they learn to do what Miss Megan calls "rest awake" in bed in the mornings.

“This can help them to move towards self-soothing more easily,” she adds.

A child might hum, coo, chatter, blow raspberries, and play happily and calmly to show that they can deal with any separation anxiety that comes from being away from you while they're still in bed.

“Self-soothing doesn’t include any crying at all,” Miss Megan explains.

If your child won't stay in bed through the early morning hours, resist rewarding the behavior by allowing them to do highly stimulating activities. If you allow them access to the downstairs play area or a screen, your child will associate these fun activities with early rising, says Tenenbaum.

Try an age-appropriate alarm clock

Putting a clock in your child’s room can help them learn when it’s OK to get out of bed in the morning. Lots of different gadgets are available, including toddler alarm clocks with pictures like a moon and stars for sleeping time and a sun for wake-up time.

Using a kid-friendly clock worked for Sam and her 5-year-old son Carson, who had gotten into a habit of waking up at 5.30 a.m.

"Our clock lets us personalize his sleep-wake routine, and it comes with a white noise option," says Sam, who lives in San Jose, California. "Even if he wakes up before the alarm, he's learned to stay in bed quietly until it goes off. Most of the time, he simply falls back asleep."

When To Consult a Doctor

Waking up too early is one of the most common challenges parents of young children deal with, says Tenenbaum. If you're struggling to find a solution—or just need some additional support—don't hesitate to reach out to your pediatrician or a sleep consultant.

"Please don't forget that even though parents are looking for help because they feel exhausted, poor sleep significantly impacts many aspects of your child's life," warns Tenenbaum.

Warning signs that your child's early rising habits are leading to a sleep deficit include moodiness, concentration problems at school, hyperactivity, and irritability.

"Seeking professional help will improve your child's health and family members' well-being overall," Tenenbaum says.

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